I dont think she knows she wasnt allowed to come, but i wasnt planning to say no.
She was really glad when she heard i had eaten ice cream :) hahah... Yes... im proud of myself.. so im goin to keep mentioning ice cream,ice cream, ice cream...LOL... ok. thats my moment over.
It was nice to see mum :)
I get to see her tomorrow as well, as i have a meeting at BUP. Yay... Time away from Mando:)
Overall, today has been reallly good:)
Just upset over my little hick ups. how i cheated. i feel so stupid. i hate when i do it.
i jsut wish i wouldnt let ana take control like tthat. like i want to show healthy not unhealthy. :(
It really does make me upset when i cheat. not because i get caught, but because i let ED taake control, i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
im jsut ready to get better now. to get rid of this stupid eating disorder....
I have a few plans for myself. not sure if i'll actually be allowed them, but its good to have goals...?
First
- Get time out during the weekend. do soemthing fun, or go somewhere and take my 3 snack out :)
- next weekend (or whatever weekend it is.) to be home and watch the Euro vision.... i feel ready, to try maybe some cheese doodles? maybe? We always make a big night of the Euro vision. up all night. laughing at the acts. eating junk food :) having friend over. Last year, i was in the hospitil, but that didnt stop my mum, sister and my friend coming to the hopital, with bags of junk food:) Embarrassing, as i like wouldn eat any of the food and they sat there munching away :) hahaha but im hoping this year, i'll be home:) i can hope
- When the 4th pirates of hte caribbean comes out, to go to the cinema
So there my little treatts i want. of course, that means work. and i have to actually mention these to my case manager... but im sure things will go fine... but i dont want to have to be in a wheelchair. :(
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