Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Stop worrying and take things as they come.

Ok. Thursday nearly completed, and a relief... it has been a completly ok day.

Ive now eben here 3 weeks, and i finally get my first time out :)

Tomorrow. i get to go to the cinema. :) to see Pirates of the Caribbean.
   is it wrong to feel nervous, anxious and stressed about going to the cinema? i havent been to the cinema in months... cus i cant sit. stupid fucking Ana.
   And i mean. why do i have to choose  a2hr 20min film? cant i jsut pick a 1hr 30 min film?.. how will i last?
  but its good training.....

But the condition of course is.... a wheelchair. Ahhh... i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
   Ill have an activity monitor, soo my case manager will know if dont use hte wheelchair... but we'll see if i actually use it or not.... im sure my mum will make me sit in it anyway....
   but i'll see how things go. im jsut worrying about sitting. and its stupid. i want to be normal. and going to the cinema is normal.

I do also get to take  a cinema alternative... which im kinda looking forward to. to test myself.
   the last time i went to the cinema (months ago) i panicked over sitting and over the cinema alternative and in the end i didnt eat my snack.
  this time i will.

its either popcorn/sweets/chocolate or bag of crisps or cheese doodles.
I want all of them, but at the same time, i dont want any. dont know what to chooose.

And then ofcourse, i have to come back to Mando. but it'll e more Saturday morning by the time im back.... :) i expect i wont get much sleep.

For the weekend. i also get time out... which im really happy about :) things are moving forward... slowly but surely.

On Sunday, i get to go home for a few hours, take my 3 snack out. and im really looking forward to it. i know it will go well. to eat properly. to eat with my mum. to show im eating..... :)
   i'lll have hte activity monitor on then, so im going to have to really try to be still.... but im not going to worry about the monitor. i dont have the energy for it.
   i'll do what i do..... but try to keep eveyrthing miniscule.

Im shit tired now... where has all my energy gone?

Im glad that i get time out, even though id like more. if i can atleast manage these, it means ill get more time out. so now i jsut have to show that i can  manage these time outs... and illl get more :)

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