Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, May 27, 2011

someone who understands

Its so nice to have someone who understands... anyone who has or has had an ED. you'll know how hard it s to talk to anyone... no one understands. you feel alone.
   but in reality... we're not. we're not doing this alone. we're not alone in thinking these thoughts, even though it feels like it.
   So when i can finally talk to someone, who knows what im thinking and doesnt think im stupid for it, or doesnt understand me. because they're going through the same thing... its a relief... knowing im not some weirdo.
    Having soemone understand.

My plans for the weekend, they're good :)
   I get some time out which is good, and i think i much deserve it :)

My mum or sister can come at visiting hours on Saturday and then for my 3 snack we can go out and take a cake or ice cream :) That'll be good. i do admit..... theres a bit of me which is nervous and really doesnt want to. but im trying to remind myself... eating a piece o f pie, or an ice cream... its the same as eating my 3 snack. so why not take something a bit nicer?
   even though i feel slightly nervous, i now thigns will go well.... im usually nervous before i try something new :) (Its new, as this time im actually gonna eat something..... the past times i went fika with mum i ddnt exactly eat the proper thing....)

And then on Sunday, i get to go home after my 3 snack and take both lucnh and my 3 snack... nervous about lunch? what will be cooked? bt i mean.. it has to be better than the usual beef and roast potatoes with like bernaise sauce...
   and i'lll just get on with eating it...i hope? but heres another challenge i haev to overcome.
 And as its mothers day on Sunday, we might do seomthing nice... no, i doubt it. im still not allowed any activity.

Im glad this week is over, it seems like its never ending....  and its sucked... the whole week.
 
Tonight it sucks though... just upset. today has been quite an annoying day. hated eating.
  and its sucked... cus ive sat relaxed.... practically all day. but now im getting nervous. now i feel my legs tensing. i dont want to sit anymore.
   but also...no ones noticed. no one has seen that ive been relaxed... and i hate it. nothing i do is good enough.
 
I jsut want to get out of this hell hole, with the awful staff....

I never want to see these four walls again.
 

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