Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, May 9, 2011

Major hating session

Ugh, I'm having a major hating session.

Looking at my legs, my arms, thighs, stomach. I hate what I see.

For the past week I haven't cared about my body. Just eaten and sat. But it's now I'm looking at my body, and hating it.

I keep dissing myself.

Telling myself I'm fat. Horrible. Worthless.

I'm now annoyed at my weight gain. It feels like I've gained too much. Don't want to gain anymore.
I'm not going to do anything to ruin this however.
I'm going to keep fighting this.

Keep gaining weight, even though right now its feeling tough. But it can't be easy forever?

I'm starting to doubt myself however. Will I make ir at home? like I'm
Not gonna get to go home anytime soon, but when I do get time out.

How will I do? Will
I cheat? I don't know. I'm starting to worry more.
It feels like things might go wrong? Like it's always been easier to not eat, so maybe I'll fall back into that?
I don't know. I'm scared. Scared enough to maybe not want yo go home. In case I ruin things. But I want to be home most.

I don't know.

I hate all these horrible thoughts though.

These thoughts telling me I'm ugly/fat/worthless/ENORMOUS.... It's so hard

1 comment:

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