Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's not what you say, it's what you do

So no one is listening to me.

I claim I can eat right at home. And I know I can.

But no one believes me, why should they?

So now, I have to show I can do it. Like I mean, I feel completely changed inside of me.

But no one else can see that. Bo one else notices the change in me.

It's like they're programmed to see the bad

I sit for 45 minutes wow. And then I go up to get water, and suddenly they're all staring at me, no. Sit down. You've already been up 5 times. when I haven't.

And it's like. I'm not cheating with my meals. If no ones watching, I still do right. If no one checks what I'm supposed to eat, I still take whet I should. Cus it won't benefit me if I dont.

But they don't notice. They didn't notice about my triupmh with the butter and cheese (gonna take butter and marmalade today)
They just notice the bad.

They keep commenting - you're eating too slow. ok, maybe I am. But then I try to speed up.
It annoys me. I'm really trying to show I can do this, cus I can.

I just want someone to notice all the good instead of the bad.

I suppose I just keep doing what I'm doing, and listen if they give out/tell me off?

Sunday today everyone :) any nice plans?
Please share:) haha

2 comments:

  1. I'm so happy for you about getting over your eating problems :) That's so great. Even if the staff aren't noticing the changes, at least you are changing! And if you're making these changes now to get better, they will notice it in the long run when you start improving more and more :)

    I'm sorry I haven't been able to comment more often lately, I've had so so so much stuff going on. I can't handle everything anymore, its all going out of control. Yesterday I had a total breakdown before a music rehearsal with my piano accompanist (I have a solo competition next Saturday.) I was crying and shouting and collapsing, ended up crying in my mom's shoulder for 10 minutes and then having to wash my face off and go straight to the rehearsal which I was then late for. Not a good day :/

    Today I'm going to be working all morning (huge project due tomorrow that I've barely started). Then driving an hour to go to my flute lesson, having the hour-long flute lesson, and driving an hour back home. And mother's day dinner with my parents and grandfather. Most likely going somewhere super calorie-loaded.. at least they have the health menus so I can know exactly how many calories I'm eating, helps me not freak out as much. And the rest of the night will be spent working.

    I hope things continue to get better for you, keep going! :)

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  2. I know this is wierd, coming from a complete stranger, but I can see from the blog that what you are doing right now is amazing! It is their loss if they don't want to see. I had this problem to some extent in that, even when I was actively trying to change, my parents were super anxious about my food choices. But it got better in time as I slowly regained their trust. It may take time, but it is defineltley worth it in the end to persevere. Don't let their stupid negativity get in your way!You are worth more than that :) Good luck

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