Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, May 9, 2011

im not complaining this time, and im proud :)

guess what i got for lunch today? My very favourite meal? Alll the times i have complained over it, gotten angst, panic, guilt...the worst imaginable/possible feelings after eating it.

i got Pasta carbonara.



At first i was like no no no no no. but they were like - you have to eat it.
   i was stilll planning on refusing it, until they told me who would be sitting with me in the lab.  The like HDV/inpatiant chief... uh oh.
   just this morning i had spoen to her and told her i wanted home so badly. that i was really working my way forwards. that i would do eveyrthing well. like get better.
  and she wa slike, you have to show that then.

So when  i found out it was her eating with me. i was just like Fine. its carbonara.

Ive eaten it before. the proper italian carbonara, as well as this horrible Mando carbonara.
   ive managed to eaet it before here, so why not now?

And everything went really well.... :) it didnt taste nice. but.... not so bad.
 i mean,  i could eat it. not count the calories. In all honesty. after the first scare things went fine. it wasnt my favourite meal, but it wasnt the worst.
  and there was nothing afterwards... OH MY GOSH RELIEF  :)

i didnt get any angst.... but i did start thinking moree i cant relax. i dont want to sit. i dont want to sit.
  but nothing like, i want to throw up/never eat again....

so im proud of myself: ) another achievement :)
  if i can eat it once, next time there wont be any refusual. i'll just get on with eating it :)

I still havent spoken to my case manager.... waiting to get given out to... told the worst. told that mum wont  be allowed to visit. told im to be in a wheel chair permanently? i dont know..... bad stuff, i know.


  1. You go girl!!!
    Haha, remember that carbonara was like my first meal at mando. Thought it was a joke when I got it, but now I can enjoy it. My mother's carbonara is the best :)

  2. once again, oh so proud of you and your progress! ^_^ I remember my first spaghetti meal in hospital and it was terrifying, but the thought of it's worse than actually doing it i found. Good for you! Keep it up girl :P