Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, May 29, 2011

Home for the day

I cant believe its already 3 o clock - snack time...
  the day has passed by so quickly. i dont have a problem with that though :)

I ate breakfast and my ten snack at Mando this morning. Actually, one of the staff mentioned while i was eating, you look so happy!! I jsut looked at her weird? Did I?
   I was sitting there eating my bread with butter, juice and an energy drink? and i looked happy? Weird.
I jsut smiled and told her i was going home. i was Happy.
   But at the same time nervous and kinda worried. not so sure how things would go.

When igot home things were kinda hard at first, i really didnt want to sit. everything felt weird. actually all i wanted to do was to run back to Mando. i didnt want to be home.
   i wanted to get away.
Instead, after a few annoying moments of jsut walking around not wantitng to sit. i got out my book and sat in the chair and read.
   And then the time paassed by and it was lunch.

Mum had cooked cod with a pepper cremefraich sauce, potatoes and veggies :)
   Everything looked good and tasted good too :)
 I gave mum her homme made presents... not that special, but it was something :)

And then i rested a while and me mum and my sister sat talking... it was nice. being able to eat lunch with no fighting or arguements, weighing up right.
   And then not haveing to run away and do the dish or run away adn stand. just lie in teh sofa.

Later i spent time on myself... hehe... washing my hair, doing my facial stuff, all that jazz :) I jsut got to say. Never take that for granted :)

And now it was my snack :)

For my snack at first there was a bit of a stir. mum had bought this strawberry yoghurt... but its not the same calories, as the yoghurt at Mando. i refused to eat it at first adn demanded mum to go to the shop. she said she would.
  but when it came to my snack, i was like No. dont go to the shop. if im going to be home, im going to have to be able to eat the food thats here, not have special food. yoghurt is yoghurt.
    so i took the strawberry yoghurt. And then, instead of a fruit i took some strawberries :) Yummi and all bran.
  As i was pouring up the juice though, mum and my sister had already gone to sit down. i was like, ok, ill take 2dl juice instead. But then i realised. NO. thats anorexia. if i cheat now, or let anorexia control me now, then im giving in.
   i poured the 3dl and went and sat down. :)

Hell yeah... i BEAT anorexia. (well today.) i didnt give in. i measured correctly, even though no one was with me.... mum says its up to me. But ive given her my meal plan and tell her she can watch me if she wants to, but she wants to trust me.
   this time her trust is in hte right place :)

Now im just gonna lazy about round the house, and in about an hours time we have to leave so i'm back for dinner. :(
  Ughhh.... why does the day jsut centre around food?

   Things haev gone well, i mean, its not all easy. and in a way, im kind of glad that they no one listened to me and was like - Ok, you say you can go home. so go home. it wouldnt have worked. i wouldnt have sat. i know i wouldnt have done right.

Tomorrows Monday, and a new week... :)

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