Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, May 21, 2011

Fun Friday night out :D

I can say, Friday wasn't worth the stress, nerves and worry.
I had a really good time and things went really well!! Really happy :)

Mum came to pick me up here at Mando, we took the wheelchair with us and left :)

Instead of buying at the cinema we went to a good shop - which was a much better choice. My popcorn alternative is a small popcorn and a juice. But, how small, is small?

We couldn't find any small bags of popcorn, so we decided, we'd buy one of those big, 75g (I think it was) bag and I'd eat atleast half. More if I could. And then, another challenge. I took a Pepsi. Just a small bottle.

When we got to the cinema I was so glad we had bought in the shop. The popcorn there was all buttered and salted. And small was not small.
I mean if I hadn't eaten dinner 2 hours ago I'm sure that I would have been able to eat one of those tubs.

I was seriously nervous, about the food. Today, I've found I was starting to count calories. How many had I eaten? should I cheat with the popcorn? Not eat it? Here was my chance. And It started to feel wrong to eat junk.

But eating went fine:) the popcorn was nice, I sat munching while I watched. But about half way through, it felt like I'd never finish eating and each bite got more and more annoying in the end I ate about 3/4 of the bag.
I didn't get angst thoughts after. A clear mind. But I did get a stomach ache. A serious one. Whether that's cus I'm so full... Like 60g popcorn and 250ml Pepsi? Maybe it was the carbonated drink?
Or it's angst?? Don't know what it is, but I still have a stomach ache even now even as I'm writing this. (Just back, lowing in bed now:))

I'm hoping it'll be gone by the morning, I mean, it's another day of eating... Hmm. I'f I still feel this sick, it'll be hard to eat.

And now, onto my majornerve worrier the sitting. Haha - lol!!
Well I don't see why I worried so much? Stupid Ana.

2hrs 35 just flew by. At one point I did want to get up. But I stayed still and carried in eating and watching the film...

But it didn't feel hard to sit at all I wasn't sitting tensed.
It wad easy and normal :) I felt normal. I like it.

Going to the cinema, eating popcorn, sitting. It's
and I can do it :)

So glad I got to come out today... And actually, just realised now. I haven't had the activity monitor on. completely forgot about it. But it wasn't given to me.
I wonder
How that will go? Will I get in trouble?

Now.... Onto the film :)

I rate it 3 out
Of 5.

It wasn't the best I've seen. It was more that they're milking it. trying to get as much money as possible. It was just an ok film. The
Plot was kind of useless. I liked the fact Thst Johnny Depp was in it. But he didn't play aswell as before, so a slight disappointment. :/
I've heard Thst there might be a 5th. But I think that's pushing it.

It was an ok film. Like, 3D isn't worth the mOney. But if you have nothing to do, or see and want to go to the cinema... Then yeah.. Go see it.

Or if you have a problem with sitting, like me. Then go see it. It will make sure you sit :)

Haha, I think I have to go to the cinema more often :)

Night everyone, happy weekend :)


  1. Thats great, sounds like a nice night :D This is weird, I haven't commented in SO long. Things have just been so hard lately and i've either had no time or no energy to comment. But I've still been reading your posts, its so great to her that things are slowly going better :)

    My friend is starting to notice that I never eat lunch (not the one from before, someone else.) I'm trying to hide it from her.. but at the same time, kinda wish she would find out. :/ Not really sure anymore. At least I had an excuse today, during my Japanese class we made Sushi :D So that was my excuse for not having lunch. I had so much anxiety about the sushi though. It was horrible. Tasted good, but just so much anxiety, both from just eating in general plus having to eat in an entire room of people. Like, yeah they're all eating too, but i just get really anxious eating in front of people. :/

    Anyway... it wasn't a totally horrible day, like most days are. It was just an average day. I had an outfit that I felt really spiffy in though haha :D that was fun. Yeah.

    I don't know if this is kinda weird haha.. but last night I dreamed that I moved to Sweden and went to Mando as an inpatient, and you were there and we were hanging out, and then I came back to California to visit my school friends or something. It was weird. But kinda good because like all the people at school knew about my anorexia and why I moved to sweden and all that, like I want people to think of me as anorexic or something. Which kinda scares me. :/

    Well anyway, that was kind of a strange comment... ;D But glad to hear that you're doing better! I'm going to try to comment more often again :) I'll have more time now, things are kinda starting to get sorted out with my work and everything. So close to the end of the year, only 4 weeks of school left. And exactly 29 days till Austria!!! :D Except I have pretty much one HUGE project due every week until the end of school, and then there's finals and I have the SAT (big test if you don't know, not sure if they have them where you live?) coming up in like 2 weeks. :O lots of work to do.

    I really tend to start on another topic and just keep talking and talking.... haha :) Hope things keep going well for you!

  2. You must have had a great time! I want to go to the cinema too now! :P It went really well for you, you were so brave! Pop corn and pepsi, major challenges, and you made it! What else is there now for you to do? You're so strong! Congrats! :D Have a nice weekend, hope you get some time out!
    Love, A. <3

  3. You're a winner Izzy! Popcorn, pepsi and sitting 2,5h at the same time! Now you can do anything =D