Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

Translate

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I want to come home.

I dont want to be here longer. I want to come home. I dont want to eat, i dont want to sit.  dont want to be told to do this, to do that, to not do that and not do that. I jsut want to come home. but i dont want to eat. I dont need to eat. Not 6 times a day and not huge meals and huge snacks. Just like 3 meals .a small breakfast, salad for lunch and soemthign small for dinner... that would do.
   Im just so tired of this. Right after my three snack and i just want to go down to the hotel and be on my own. I havent asked to see if i can. But i know i cant. My fucking supeviosr has said to be that i need to stay up here. Bt i cant. :(
  My legs hurt, my head pounds... i shouldnt be here. Im not thin. Im fine. They're just all mean and stupid and wrong.
  Like i look at all the staff here, and they're all like fat,  im sorry to sya it, but they are. They have like fat hanging on them... and then all the girls here are like stick thin and messing about, not doing thigns right (Yes, i was like that as well... hint why im back in the hotel) but i mean im doing eveyrhting right... andi still feel sick in my stomach, but i dont cry or complain or do anythign wrong.
  I shouldn be here,

Like i eat more than everybody here. I do, jsut cus of my Fucking CF. I've calculated its around 5500 - 5800 calories a day, including the erngy drink. :(
  I hate it..... like why do i eat more than everybody? its only fta people who would eat as much as i do. :(

Im upset. I need some cheering up. But theres nobody.... no ones ocming to visit. so im jsut gonna be here all day. just sitting and eating... i seriously hate eating... i jsut want to stop with it. I dont even enjoy it... i mean.... i could have... maybe... but now.. abaoutly NO.

What a Haloween -

Happy Haloween everybody, hope your is better than mine.


^^^Sick Puppies - Killing myself for christmas ^^ the title jsut hit me, its perfect for me.

No comments:

Post a Comment