Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Travel

I want to travel somewhere. Anywhere. Back to Ireland. I dont think i would be allowed. But it would be nice, to maybe jsut forget my Mando Meter, and forget my meal plan, eat as i want. go out to restaurants, go Fika. DO stuff, go se places.
I would really like that, but no one would trust me enough to forget the calshake, or dump the meal plan. i dont trust myself either, i haeva feling that if i didnt have a meal plan, i wouldnt eat. and its obviousyl shown that not taking the calshake has bad effects.
but ti would be nice, id veyr much like to go to Rome or France again. I went to Rome last year in May, with my sister my nanny and my dad. We went teh day after my dads birthday!! I miss him evry much, as with my nanny.
I had like the best tmie in Rome ever. I had jsut been in the peadiatrics unit for two weeks with Ivfs, and i wasnt sure if iw ould even be allowed to go as the doctors kept saying another week on Ivs, but after two weeks, and like two days before i was going to travel they said i could go.
So that was nice and i got to spend the day with ym dad on his birthday!! :)
When we were in Rome, we went to the Colosseum, Trevi fountain, and other fabulous places, Rome is absaloutly amazing!
And i enjoyed Itallian Ice-cream, teh best of hte best and itallian pizza, the very best! :) The original!
I had liek the best time ever, and my dad even took me and my siste shopping, where we got to buy a dress each! :)
This year in May i realized that it had ben ayear since we had been in Rome, and once again, i was in hospital. But in the irish mental hospital. Great. :(
This year, i was also in hospital for my sister 16th birthday, and my dads 50th birthday. BUt i was ├Âlucky enought o come out for both of their partys. But for my dads, i went with the NG tube down my nose and a needle in ym hand, for my sisters, iwas bita more normal!! :)
Iwould really like to travel. Go somewhere nice, maybe me, my mum, my sister nad my dad. I miss my dada veyr much. I would like to go back to Ireland, see my dad, my baby girl (Daisy, my puppy dog) and all my friends"!!
Im felign veyr home sick and the moment. MIssing how it was in Ireland. Even though i complained like hell... i miss it. NOt exaclty my school, or where we lived, not even how iw as in ireland for the past months, puking,, self harming, not even having the energy to get out of bed int he morning, when i think over it, it really wasnt a life.
BUt i miss being able to sit down, watch my favourite program, Greys anatomy, Desperate housewivfes. Take my dog for a walk. Sit in my room with my laptop and loud music. Have my own spacfe. I miss that bit, not sitting up in my room puking.
Its really hard jsut pakcing up and leaving all those memories behind, the memories iwth ym friends, my family. Like i havent spent a whole day with my dog since April, or a whole day at home, in my room since April. Its really tough. Even though i complained like hell about my room, our hosue where we lived. I miss it evyr much. But i like that we liv in Sweden, i like sweden veyr much. But its jsut alot and it really seems to ahev hit me now... that this really is a permanent move and id ont mind it really.. its jsut that i miss the past aswell, its hard to take a step into the unknown future.

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