Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Let go

So i´ve been told; I can never get better and be fully healthy, if i dont let go. Let go of what i usually ask? What is there to let go?
  BUt in all honesty, i know what tehy´re on about... partly that is. Because.. i can atleast understand that all im doing is eating... apparently that has a big part in gettting better.. ffrankly i dont think so. If we could jsut talk it through, then i could ahev stayed the way i was? :) No.
  BGut like...ok, im eating, following my meal plan. Going ot the hospital. But i still feel absaloutly sick after eating soemthing like a pastery, i will try to eat less if i can, ill try to not eat if i get a chance. I even started throwing up.
  I avoid foods like bread, cheese as much as is possible, even though its on my meal plan, i´ve had it once to show i can, but thats enough for me., Not again.
   So i really amnt tletting go. BUt letting go of what i dont understand. Like... its not a different person, its nto like im holding on. Like i weant to sdtart school.. ok well not really, i would still prefer to skip that part but im not alklowed to. So its defintely not like im holding on.
  But it jsut feels...like im comforted.,.. i like the fact of... i dont actaully knwo what it is. Maygbe its when im being screamed at in my min that im fat, need to stop eating, need to lsoe weoght. I dont know if its that thats comforting, or still feeling sick at seeing some types of foods or stuff liek that... but its soemthing about all of this (not the hospital or getting better) but about this that is comforting, doesnt want to make me get better. Its like they say... i doint want to let go i like hvaing whatever this is around.

I know like none of that makes any sense, but it does to me and its so hard ot word any of this.

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