Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


3 meals from today

Amidst my studying and large pile of work to do i am giving myself a 30 minute dinner break to just do something other than school work and of course to eat!!

Below you see my breakfast: Wasnt super hungry as i ate quite a large night snack at 2am and then only a few hours later after just sleeping it was breakfast time.

My afterschool snack: 1,5 portion egg white fiberoatmeal with cottage cheese, raspberries & walnuts and raisins on the side (ate them all) & 2 wake up energy tablets (2 tablets = 1 cup of coffee. And it tastes like redbull!)

Dinner: Frozen vegetables, quorn meatballs, couscous and cottage cheese & green tea and chocolate as dessert! I 90% of the time eat dessert after dinner (usually yoghurt with rasins and nuts/dark chocolate/normal chocolate/some form of protein bar if i have at home/raw food ball or bar if i have made some!) and then a night snack before bed as well :)


  • 01:tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
  • His personality, his behaviour... just him as a person. Its hard to answer this without sounding cheesy, but i like everything about him. I like spending time with him and i like him as a person.... its hard to write an answer online as well, haha!
  • 02:what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
  • Nothing right now... but i did start feeling a little pain in my knees after all the dancing in my heels yesterday. I am always worried about my knees and ankles as they are so important to keep 'in tact' as i workout and run so much so i really dont want to injure them!
  • 03:what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
  • I'm tired and hungry.
  • 04:what are you listening to?
  • Right now i love the song: Savages by five knives
  • and People watching by Air Traffic Controller

  • 05:what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
  • My french national test (on Wednesday), my history assignment and my Swedish national presentation. :(
  • 06:where do you think your best friend is right now?
  • In college i am presuming, or still in bed XD
  • 07:have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
  • Yes ;)
  • 08:sex on the first date?
  • No i wouldnt do that as i mean you dont really know the person so well and well, it would feel more like a 'hook up' then.
  • 09:kiss on the first date?
  • Once again, i dont think i would because i dont know the person so i would rather wait until the second or third date.
  • 10:is there one person you want to be with right now?
  • Yes!
  • 11:are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
  • Yes i am :) Its strange but i am happy, even if part of me is super stressed i am still very happy and content with life :) It feels awesome and i am going to enjoy it all as much as i can.
  • 12:is there something you would like to say to someone?
  • Yeah.. i just cant bring myself to say it :(
  • 13:what are three things you did today?
  • Ate breakfast, drank coffee, blogged. (its only 10am here and i woke up at 9am...)
  • 14:would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
  • Have them over i think. But i don't really like sleepovers, i prefer to actually sleep, haha.
  • 15:what is your favourite kind of gum?
  • All types of gum!!!! Mostly, but the ones that you can chew on for like 3 hours are the best.
  • 16:are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
  • Well not exactly 'friends' but i mean we can still talk.
  • 17:what is on your wrists right now?
  • One hairband... usually i have 3 XD
  • 18:ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
  • Yeah... but turned out that he actually liked me as well, hahaha. But then it was too late, we both moved country XD
  • 19:does anyone have strong feelings for you?
  • Well i am hoping that someone does (meaning A and my family!)
  • 20:are you slowly drifting away from someone?
  • Its already happened a while ago :(
  • 21:have you ever wasted your time on someone?
  • No i dont think so, i believe that people come into your life for a reason. Some may not be for positive reasons, but still they can teach you a lesson then. So i dont believe i 'waste' time on people, their are either a blessing or a lesson!
  • 22:can you do the alphabet in sign language?
  • No... i cant even do yes or know in sign language. Maybe i should learn.
  • 23:how have you felt today?
  • Energetic, happy, motivated! Hopefully it lasts the whole day!
  • 24:you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
  • Right now... i have so many things to pay for for graduation so towards that. But maybe a hair cut or heels (part of the whole graduation thing! XD)
  • 25:what is wrong with you right now?
  • Who said anything was wrong? I think i am doing ok at the moment!

  • 26:is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
  • Not right now.
  • 27:would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
  • Considering that i dont know what jamba juice is and that i am a coffee addict i would have to say starbucks!

  • 28:why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
  • Hahah, there wasnt even any love to begin with!

  • 29:how late did you stay up last night and why?
  • 2.30am... partying!
  • 30:when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
  • A while ago :( :( :( She lives in Ireland.
  • 31:what were you doing an hour ago?
  • Just waking up - making myself breakfast.
  • 32:what are you looking forward to in the next month?
  • So many things!!! Almost done with school work, my dad is coming over (this Wednesday); my half marathon race, my graduation party etc etc
  • 33:are you wearing jeans right now?
  • Nope wearing sports pants!!
  • 34:are you a patient person?
  • It depends, i can get quite impatient depending on what it is i'm doing or who i am waiting for.
  • 35:do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
  • I already have! Actually, i think its just about 3 months XD (3 month anniversary or something... checked it up, tomorrow is our 3 month anniversary. hahaha. I dont do those types of things and find them super cheesey, so no i am not going to do anything special. )
  • 36:favourite colour?
  • Hot pink or baby blue!
  • 37:did you have a dream last night?
  • I did, and it was super strange but now i have forgotten it... usually i dont remember my dreams.
  • 38:are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
  • Sports pants.
  • 39:if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
  • My boyfriend.

  • 41:if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
  • Yes!!!
  • 42:do you like meeting new people?
  • Yeah i do, but i am rarely the one to start the conversation, but if they start talking to me then i have no problem making conversation!
  • 43:are you afraid of falling in love?
  • I dont really know... i think i am scared of letting my guard down and becoming vulnerable.
  • 44:ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
  • yes.
  • 45:has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
  • I dont think so... but then again i forget things like that so maybe someone has.
  • 46:have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
  • like 85% of the time. :(

I like to party and by party i mean sleep!

Monday morning, the sun is shining, it is super warm outside and life feels pretty good right now!
  I fell asleep by 2.30am with my ears ringing and am just after waking up at 9am. I am feeling super energetic and my mind is clear and ready for the day, despite not even drinking coffee yet.

I had planned to post before i left yesterday but i thought that roughly 60 minutes to get ready would be enough because well.... what did i have to do? Get dressed, put on a little make up, make sure i had everything with me, take a few photos, write a blog post and then leave... that would surely be enough time. But nope, once my sister started on my make up and hair it took a lot longer than i had planned so the time just flew by!

I was not feeling super excited, not even on the train into the city, infact i sat there and wandered what am I doing 11pm on a Sunday wearing heels and red lipstick and going to a party? Not me at all. But i knew i would regret it if i didnt go, its times like this where you just need to make yourself do things! Despite not drinking alcohol i felt very dizzy, i guess too much caffeine and not sleeping enough so there were times i thought i would faint or fall over but luckily i did neither! I also enjoyed myself alot, dancing with my friends and having a good time so I am glad that i went :)

When i felt myself getting a little too tired I decided to head home only to realise that the trains had stopped going to my station and the only bus that went stopped far way from where i lived so decided to call a taxi. It was nice as the taxi ride only took 20 minutes and if i had taken the train and bus it would have taken more than an hour to get home. Though i always feel uneasy in taxi's, i have had some bad experiences in taxi's so i prefer other ways of transport even though i know that taxi's are safe and all that, i can just feel very uncomfortable. But i arrived home safely, made myself a snack and then went to bed :) And that was the end of last week and the start of this week!! I am hoping that this week will be an awesome as i have alot of things going on in school and outside of school!!

Be honest with yourself

Something which i have started telling people alot recently via email and when giving advice is to start being honest with yourself. Because the truth is, no one else can know about your intentions. What can seem healthy from the outside isnt always healthy, and somethings which might seem unhealthy dont always have to be unhealthy. But only YOU can know why  you do things.
  Some things may be unconscious or just habits you do without reflecting over them, but i suggest that you sit down and really think about your behaviours and habits. Because this is YOUR life. You can continue living it the way you are doing, or you can make a change. But if you are struggling then its up to YOU to seek help and support and make that change.

It is very important to be honest with yourself, because you know why you do things, even if you try to convince yourself that you do something for a certain reason, but deep down you know what the actual reason is. Ask yourself, is this how you want to live your life for the rest of your life? Or do you want things to change... and the first step is admitting that you need to change something and then overcoming that fear of change and doing something different.

Post run day - hunger and tiredness

The day after a long run is usually when extreme hunger and tiredness hit in. Also due to other things like hormones and the fact that i slept very restlessly last night.
   First off it was breakfast followed by a short walk in the sun (I should have mentioned this in my running post, but i find that going for a walk the day after a long run can help with recovery time... just like the day after i do leg day i usually try to do some form of cardio. It makes the blood flow easier - or so i have understood it, but it helps me anyway!). Then it was time for another snack followed by several cups of coffee, water and a few tbs of peanut butter. Sat and let my food digest thinking i needed to just give it time... but nope, the hunger was distracting me so i couldnt work and there wasnt much food at A's place so i decided to head home and fill my stomach with food before i started studying.
  Since ive come home i have done about 20 minutes studying, the rest has been spent eating or resting... feeling both mentally and physically tired today as well as my stomach being a black hole. (Though it seems to have filled up now after eating several crisp bread with spread, a few handfuls of nuts and a bowl of yoghurt with raisins!)

Soon its party time and i am actually feeling a little excited! I am not planning on drinking as its Sunday and well... who wants to feel intoxicated while at school the next day! The theme is 'Red Carpet' so i have one dress in mind... though with strength training it means getting 'bigger' and so i am not sure if the dress will fit me anymore... The only downside of strength training. hahaha. But i would much rather be 'bigger' (btw, i know i am not big! I hope this does not trigger anyone.) , strong and healthy than fit into a size X.

For now, i feel my mental energy coming back so time to sit down for an hour or so and get at least a little work done!

How are you spending your Sunday? :)

 Here you see yesterdays afternoon snack!
The brownies were a success... both my family and A agreed, as well as myself. But i love most sweet & chocolate things :)

Readers story - beginning and choosing recovery

My name is Karly and I am a 20 year old Australian girl currently recovering from Anorexia. People have always told me that no one can make someone suffering from Anorexia recover, except for the sufferer themselves and I completely agree with this. I believe that for someone with anorexia to recover, they need to be ready and decide that recovery is what they truly want, more than anything else in the world. I can say that I think this is true as it is exactely what happened to me.
A year and a half ago I decided that I didn't want to be sick anymore but I wasn't completely dedicated to my recovery. I increased my intake a lot so stoppped losing weight but still was not eating anywhere near enough. While I gained a little weight, this soon stopped as my metabolism sped back up so I was still significantly underweight. I was too frightened to gain anymore weight so didn't increase my intake any further. I wasn't happy as my life still revolved around my anorexic thoughts and behaviors but changing felt too hard.
Anorexia has managed to steal away the last 3 years of my life but I refuse to let it take anything else from me. I can honestly say that for the first time, I really do want to gain weight and I really do want to recover. I think quite a few things have contributed to this breakthrough in my thinking, the main thing being my blogging. Writing my own blog has given me a chance to express what I have had to bottle up inside for many years and in a way, I feel as though it is allowing me to 'let go' of my anorexia.
Reading other peoples blogs about recovery has also helped me enormously as they have proven to me that recovery is possible and definitely worth the fight. I feel as though this little support network I am a part of is so amazing and I really apppreciate the fact that I always have someone willing and able to offer fantastic support and advice when I need it. That is the main reason I wanted to write a guest post on Izzy's blog, so I could hopefully reach out to more people who are going through or who have gone through similar experiences to me. I want to be able to help other people through their recovery journeys just as I am being helped through my own.
I know that it's not going to be easy, especially once I start getting closer to my goal weight as I will most likely start feeling uncomfortable with my body but I am determined to keep fighting and never give up. I deserve to be free of Anorexia and enjoy my life. Up until now I have not felt strong enough to recover but now I do. My blog has given me the extra motivation that I needed to make my recovery happen. I now feel as though I owe it to the wonderful people I have met through my blog, as well as my family and myself to make a full recovery.
Karly enjoying chocolate with her sister.

You can read more about Karlys journey towards healthy and help support her by checking out her blog - leaving a comment or some words of support: 

How to run long distance - My tips and advice

The important thing with running long distance is 1) giving yourself enough energy 2) training - doing both long distance (and challenging yourself to run a little further) as well as doing intverals and OFCOURSE 3) rest and recovery time.
Dont think that you can run long distance everyday, eat some protein and be able to keep making progress. Or who knows, maybe you can, but i wouldnt suggest it.

I have been running since spring/summer 2012 when i was finally allowed to exercise after roughly 2 years of bedrest. At that point i couldnt even run 1km without having to stop. I had lost all strength, energy and stamina. But after a few months i was able to run a whole 10km, however i also began overexercising and doing too much cardio everyday so i just felt tired and overworked and instead of getting faster and stronger i got weaker and slower and felt unmotivated to run. Then in the beginning of 2013 i began to focus on strength training and cut down on cardio. Focusing on strength training and building muscle in my legs helped alot with my running - when i finally began again - as i was stronger and had more endurance. From summer 2013 to autumn 2014 i wasnt running so much, i did alot of intervals which helped alot and when i had time and motivation i would run. It was in autumn 2014 where i felt all my running motivation come back and i had alot of energy and strength so i then began running longer and i remember when i first ran 15km outside! It felt awesome! With a mix of running distance between 5-15km, doing intervals to increase speed and stamina and leg workouts to increase strength it helped alot with my running. And with the proper fuel i found myself able to run longer and have the energy for it. Since the start of 2015 i have made alot of progress with my running. Eating enough, doing HIIT and getting enough rest and recovery as well as having the ENERGY AND MOTIVATION - those two things are important.

When it comes to running and running long distance there are some important things to think about

1) Your shoes... make sure you have the proper shoes for your feet, otherwise you can just cause pain and injuries.
2) Check your running technique - sometimes you use far more energy than necessary and so that tires you out quickly
3) Practise running outside - running on the treadmill is NOT the same as running outside.

I would suggest doing short runs and HIIT on the treadmill as its good to do variety and then focus on also running outside as that is harder than on the treadmill.

Set up goals for yourself such as tell yourself you will run 5km without stopping and keep that mantra and goal in your head when you run. Though running is also dependant on your form that day... somedays your legs are heavier or breathing is harder and thats ok. Its ok to stop and walk, i still do that some runs. But try to challenge yourself such as take 2-3 more steps when you feel tired, or run 100m more. Keep pushing yourself to build up endurance (HIIT is highly recommended to do this and increase your speed).

Remember to NOT compare yourself to others, everyone starts somewhere and do the best YOU can at that moment. Because somedays are tougher... somedays i cant even manage to run 5km, while other days i could run 25km without problem. So dont forget to also be kind to yourself :)

REST - Key to results. I suggest taking magnesium as that is good for recovery time as well as eating enough carbs before and after your runs. Stretching and foam rolling are great as well. Also massage :) (Running gives you an excuse to get massages from your significant other/family or go to a masseuse)

Nutrition and fuel: Very important things in seeing results. I run in the mornings and dont like to eat alot before i run so i suually carb load the night before meaning that i eat alot of oatmeal, fruit, dried fruit, bread etc and then before my run i eat something light like dried fruit, nuts or some dry oats. Often simple carbs to give me the energy i need during my run. This is my OWN personal preference. It is suggested to eat a proper meal 1-2 hours before you run and if you feel you need it then a snack 30 minutes before your run. But for me, carb loading the night before a long run is what works for me.
   Make sure to eat enough before and after your run as well as getting enough rest so that your body can recover. If you feel that you cant eat enough to run long distance or to run then i would cut down with the running or maybe think about buying some protein powder or a gainer, as that can help you to get enough calories in. Otherwise eat things like oats, bananas, dried fruit, full fat yoghurt, oils, nuts, bread etc
  Remember that FOOD IS FUEL and if you arent fueling your body right then there is no point running - not really anyway. Dont be scared of eating, you wont see the progress you want to if your body and muscles dont have the energy source they need.

How to stay motivated to run?

Good music.
A mantra and goal. If i have set myself the goal to run 20km, then i will be damned if i dont reach that goal... i keep repeating it in my head. Though of course there are times i need to just be honest with myself and realise that no... today i dont think i can run that distance or today i should just rest even if i had planned to run a certain distance. But usually having your goal in your head will motivate you.
Run with someone else.
Think about other things.

DONT think about the distance or time you will be spending running. If i think about 20km as a distance or think about running for 2 hours in a row, then my body and mind just say but if i dont think about those things and just think about how awesome it will feel to run and how awesome i will feel afterwards and then enjoy my run then the time just sort of flies by.

Also Find a pace that works for you. You need to pace yourself, there is no point running super fast in the beginning and then having no energy at the end... i know it can be tough to run slower than you want to when you have loads of energy, but it will benefit you. Whenever i run races i always pass loads of people because they run super fast in the beginning and then cant manage that pace and get tired, while i keep a constant pace and then at the end can usually sprint!!

Do hill intervals -  This will help you tremendously with 'hills' when you are running outside :) Also youtube videos on how to run up hills - there is a technique... i sort of jump/run on my toes and so dont feel tired. However some hills it is better to just walk up to save energy, because what goes up must come down... and usually after the hill it is either a downhill or just straight and those are easy to run. And if you walk up the hill you have saved energy so you can run faster :)

Warming up, cooling down and stretching are also important and helpful. It is even more important to warm up if you are running when it is cold outside, otherwise you can cause injuries. And stretching as well as cooling down after a run can help prevent injuries and stiffness the next day.

Also foamrolling is great... its a love-hate relationship and i should do it more often because it is very helpful :)

Also have the proper running clothes, if you are planning on running long distance. The proper running clothes can keep you warm, not be all over the place (i.e baggy) so that they slow you down or weigh heavy as well as they dont cause friction.

Also believe in yourself. Try running several times a week and combining running with yoga/strength training/circuits will help your running even more :) Remember that running is qvery mental, if you think you cant, then you wont be able to. Believe that you can and let your thoughts wonder, dont think about that you hate running or that you arent strong enough, because then those thoughts will affect how you perform. Tell yourself that YOU CAN!

Sometimes school work can wait! (&Brownie recipe!)

Something which i need to learn is to not feel guilty when i decide to do other things instead of studying. Life is more than school and school work, even if that is a priority and at times i need to face the fact that i cant do a bunch of other stuff. Though my problem is that i say no to other stuff because i think i need to study 95% of my freetime, but instead i have decided to spend this day doing other things and then if i have time tomorrow i will try get some work done. But like all my teachers have reminded my class, that this weekend we deserve to rest after all the work we did last week and our big deadlines on Friday. It doesnt mean that the workload is over, but just like with anything, taking a break and a rest can be good at times.

So instead i started my morning with a long distance run and despite it feeling tough and the first 5km i thought 'Damn why did i think i could run so far' but after those initial 5km which are usually the worst for me... (thats why i rarely run 5km or less because it takes 5km for me to warm up and after that i can just keep running with little problem.) Then home for my second and proper breakfast followed by blogging (A post about long distance running will be up tomorrow :)), cleaning my room, baking brownies, taking a powernap and then i headed to A's place :) Which is where i am now... i am guessing? This is a scheduled post so i dont really know, haha.

Onto the brownies... they were SOOO good, it was hard to keep myself from eating it all. Because they were so moist and fluffy you needed like 3 pieces to feel satisfied! Usually i make brownies with sugar and butter and all those other ingredients, but i found a recipe using oil instead of butter and decided to try it (as i've heard using oil makes it more fluffy) and i am so glad i did!! I had to experiment a little though and added appelsauce (as we ran out of oil) and had to use syrup instead of sugar (as we had like 2 tbs sugar!!), but it turned out super good.
  I recommend THIS recipe alot and also recommend doubling it :) Bake, eat, share and enjoy!

On a side note, i have also bought my graduation dress now (super excited - i hope it fits) as well as a dress for my 'dinner & party' which my class is having (i.e a graduation party which we have before we graduate) and the theme is Bond!! So i am hoping that dress will fit as well!!
  Which brings me to another point... i realised that i am going to a party tomorrow - i had completely forgotten about it as i have had other things on my mind. Its kind of silly to have it on a Sunday but i think i will spend a few hours then go. But it means trying to find something to wear to that party, which isnt easy as the majority of my wardrobe is blue jeans, black tank tops and lots and lots of training clothes (but still not enough ??XD). Hopefully i will find something i can wear though and also find my motivation to go to the party!!! XD

Recovered role model stereotype - vlogg

Just some thoughts i had.
Hate making videos and hearing my own voice, but sometimes its easier to talk about things than write about them. It can be hard to get my message across with just words.

These are just MY thoughts, doesnt mean they are right.

Answers - questbars/'fear foods'/being open about my past

Have you seen the new questbar flavour? What do you think of it?

I have heard about the new mint chocolate chunk questbar and from the reviews it seems like a new top 5. However i am not super crazy about mint so i dont really know. Recently i have barely eaten any questbars, i guess i overate them for a while... i.e having 3 boxes of questbars lying in your room, its easy to eat like 3 a day and that is what i did and i overate them. So now i dont really crave them or feel that need to buy myself questbars.... Plus i save so much money now and can use it on other things instead of questbars :) But they are delicious and i am sure i will buy myself a box sometime soon, but for now i dont have any intense cravings for them :)

Hey Izzy! Could make a review of the cookies & cream questbar? I love chocolate chip cookie dough but I don't have them anymore :( I have a whole box of cookies & cream and I don't know I'm not so keen on it! How do you like it? Raw? Baked? I'd be so grateful as I know you love them :) 

I have written a review about that flavour HERE. I love cookies and cream flavour questbars, i think its my number 1!! Its soft and has crunchy cookie bits in it and i love the white chocolate! However i love all cookies and cream/oreoflavoured things so it is very individual about flavour!! If you dont like the flavour, feel free to send the remaining ones to me :) hahah

Though do try putting it in the microwave for 20-30 seconds or making cookies or questpuffs out of the bar :) Its delicious 'raw' and baked!! Try it and see... maybe try half of it raw and the other half baked :)

I´ve noticed some food fears coming from being force fed. For example I just can´t bring myself to eat waffles. In hospital they were for me the absolute worst dessert they made us eat. They were served once every two weeks. Also another thing is minced anything (meaning meat, chicken, soya, quorn does´t matter) I just can´t eat them because so many times I was forced to eat dishes containing these.

Did/Do you have anything like this?
Yes i have definitely experienced this.  When i was at Mando i had to eat potatoes 2 times a day for weeks on end and i hated it. I have never really liked potatoes so then having to eat most often boiled potatoes 2 times a day for weeks i felt tired of it. So once i was a day patient i told my mum i wasnt going to eat potatoes at home and then it ended up me not eating potatoes at all once i was sort of free from Mando. And its only really since i have started dating A that i have begun to eat potatoes again... so basically 3 years where i didnt eat potatoes if i didnt have to. Of course i did eat potatoes and all forms of potatoes - mashed, boiled, baked, omelette (with potatoe), fries, crisps, wedges etc and i am not scared of carbs, but its just that whenever i eat potatoes i think of Mando and just dont like the taste at all. Especially not boiled potatoes, i dont eat those at all. So yes, i did suffer some 'scars' from my time at Mando and being forced to eat foods which i didnt like however it is important to know WHY you dont eat them. If they are fear foods such as you are scared of the fat/carbs/sugar content of the food then i do suggest you try to make yourself eat them, but if its just a thing where you 99% of the time would not eat a certain food because you have been forced to eat it  then i dont see the point in forcing yourself to eat it when you have a choice?
  It would be very hypocritical of me to tell you that you have to eat those foods, because you dont... not if you have a choice and it is a food that you feel you neither crave or want and you have a choice to maybe eat pancakes or french toast instead or not eat the minced meat/quorn and instead eat the pasta and veggies or something else.

But like i mentioned earlier, its important to know why you feel you dont want to eat a food. For me, i choose to not eat potatoes 99% of the time but i can eat them and not feel guilty about eating it, its just that i might not enjoy eating them. But when i am at a restaurant or at someone elses place then i will eat what is served whether that includes potatoes or not, i dont make a hassle about it as i am not allergic to potatoes so no reason why i shouldnt eat them.

Does your boyfriend know about your past with an eating disorder? Do you think that people who have not had anorexia could ever understand it? 

No, not that i am aware of anyway. However i realised just how easy it is to find out about it i.e if you google my name then all the articles will come up as well as my blog and also I have the blogger app on my computer and my blog profile as a bookmark on my computer so i mean its not like i am trying to cover it up.... but i just dont know how to tell him? Its not something i feel i can casually just bring up as well as i have a very hard time talking about things like this. But i do feel that maybe he should know, we have been dating for several months now and it is a big part of my past as well as my blog is a part of the present and most probably future. But i dont know how to tell him.... So if anyone has any advice about this then it would be super duper awesome if you could comment or email me with some advice. Though what i find the hardest is that it is a part of my past and not my present, so i dont want him to start judging me for my past and think differently of me. :(

And onto your second question, no i dont believe that people who havent suffered from the illness can completely understand. Not even if you tell them everything you are thinking or how it feels... its just like unless i suffer from cancer, ADHD, bipolar etc i wont ever fully understand how it feels to suffer with that illness even if someone tries to explain to me. However they can empathasize and sumpathasize with you. You can still open up to people and have them help and support you and try to understand. For me personally i felt alot like there is no point telling people how i felt because they wouldnt actually understand. I think this is why many might find comfort with my blog and feel that they can talk to me because i have experienced what they are going through, i have been at the very bottom and struggled with an eating disorder and now i am free. And that inspires people... just like people who suffer from cancer seek inspiration from those who have overcome and gotten rid of their cancer, or like people with diabetes seek themselves to communities and groups with others who have diabetes... its a human thing. You feel you can connect with someone because of common problems or connections.

But i think it is important to raise more awareness about eating disorders and how it is to suffer because many think its just an appearance thing and that people dont eat because they want to look a certain way or that people binge because they have no self control, but it is so much more than that.